The Six Types Of People You Always Meet Online Dating
Jasmine looks at dating apps and explores the many problematic characters you encounter in an online dating world.
It was a summer evening, I was twenty years old, single and bored. I’m sat with friends around a dining table and I’m downloading Tinder onto my phone. ‘You wont even believe the kinds of people’ they’re telling me. Sure, boredom was one reason, but the buzz surrounding it over the last few months was impossible to ignore. Why all the fuss? I didn’t get it. I don’t know whether I was looking for a funny story or just wanted to find someone I knew, but I couldn’t help myself. It was active and I was swiping.
The online dating world promotes an ideology that there are thousands and thousands of people out there for you- which is going to have a huge impact on your psychology.
Both Tinder and online dating have come a long way. That was over two years ago, and at the time was something people seemed to be using a little more sincerely. Some people I knew were having actual, real conversations with their virtual ‘matches’ and penis pics were floating around in a slightly more occasional manner. Hook-up culture itself has evolved massively, and is tied up with everything that’s great about being a young man or woman; freedom, choices and control. However the over-accessibility of people and heightened casualness of sex left me feeling de-valued. The online dating world promotes an ideology that there are thousands and thousands of people out there for you- which is going to have a huge impact on your psychology. Ideals begin to circulate around short-term dating, and people take comfort in knowing there’ll be another potential mate at the swipe of a finger.
And it didn’t take long…within days I was on the receiving end of the cruder, more heckling forms of contact I was warned about. Men were asking for anything and everything, and when I refused it was treated like it were a lawful duty I failed to carry out. And it’s not just men…some guys I spoke to explained that lots of the profiles of women they found were actually sexual advertisements. It was clear, many online dating apps have twisted the dating norms we once knew- people have freedom to be as extreme as they like and the blessing of hiding comfortably behind a screen; if they’re rejected it’s not like they have to ever see that person. So it’s cool.
It’s like a mixed bag of Haribo. Some are sweet, some sickly, some sour.
People used to meet through proximity, through friends or family, and some even out in public…if you can imagine a time. Through Tinder you have the opportunity to engage with all kinds of people which is one big advantage, but are people forgetting how to talk to each other? A friend of mine states ‘We’re slowly getting to a point where we apologise for attraction. I think deep down a guy wants the bravery to tell that to a girl she’s pretty with his own mouth in person. Not via text and emoji after seeing 100 selfies or nudes of her. But we’ll take the nudes and the texts because it’s safer. We don’t need to deal with facial expressions. Everything is much more manageable.’
Don’t know what I’m talking about? I took some time to gather some of the more entertaining examples from people I know of what can be found out in that sea of horny, love-hungry fishes on the internet.
The One Who Always Knows Better And Feels The Need To Tell You
Yep, they lurk. Open firing their redundant opinions at you because clearly, it’s their place to say. Thanks we really appreciate it.
The Emotional Orgasm
This person hits you with stuff you didn’t even know existed. Where they come from we don’t know, but they’re sprinkling joy and lots of little rays of sunshine in the form of emojis over anyone who falls into their matchbox.
The Hopeless Romantic
Some try and try yet nothing comes their way. But if this is you, it’s calm- maybe Tinder isn’t for you. What’s wrong with some old-fashioned flirting like sliding notes across the desk and dropping numbers on napkins anyway?
Often a very hit-or-miss situation, and it can go either way. This is solely down to humour and hopefully, you have some.
Also known as The Goldmine. The needle-in-the-haystack. The four-leaf clover. They are a rare find and should you catch one on the end of your line reel them in immediately. Do not cast them back into that sea of fishes.
The Multiple Texter
We all know about this, and undoubtedly we’ve all experienced it. But here it seems like they up ten levels of persistence and apparently the ability to pick up signals when online messaging just doesn’t exist.
So there you have it.
Spotting the real thing in a sea of potential romances isn’t always easy. And it goes without saying there’s hurdles. Dating apps are creating a massive shift in dating culture, and whether or not you want to play along is always and entirely- up to you.
And if you need anyone to chat to get in touch with 4YP, a Bristol-based service which offers advice on relationships, sex, contraception as well as all round support and counselling. Stay safe.